Probably the last day of lift accessed skiing in winter '20. Average skiing, above average light.

Has it come to this? Where do I begin…. I’m bored. Stuck in time, indefinitely inside, I just don’t know what to do with myself. Safe from harm, yes, only what do I do now?

Get ready!

Ready to start bicycle season, all of my thoughts turn into try try trying 2 remember whatever goes into the bag, (little black backpack best, bit you can try basket, case, brown paper bag…) Riding solo’s easy; whenever it all comes down to you I can’t forget safety stuffAfter all, the the superheros of BMX never mind tu pac first aid kits, what if I want to fall off my bike today?

I know where I went wrong, This time, krafty like, empty everything after all my generations last rides in the fallAll I need’s laid out there. Good riddance toto the mouldy peaches / garbage, alvvays at the bottom of everything, This is the kit this charming man wantedlay it down on a plain surface, this time document everythingPhotograph taken, now I know all I needed 2 ride. All we have is now loaded, ready (or not) 2 leave home; go bike rider.

A reminder. This is a low, travel is dangerous, transmission; it’s so easy! Remember, it’s hard to kill a bad thing. I’m gonna be going out encore une fois, just right here, right now, stay close sit tight. Today has been ok. Tomorrow we carry on. We can work it out  The world’ll be ok.

If the instagram post is now thought of as long form content to complement your insta-story, then the blog is as dead as print. So lets go old school and use some windows paint to edit the photo.

1. Evoc FR Trail 20l bag
2. Pump. A big easy to use one because there’s usually 18 tyres to puncture per ride, with added duct tape
3. Inner tube 650b
4. Another inner tube 650b
5. Zip ties, ski straps, tie wire and toe clip straps. For holding bikes or riders or vans together
6. Tyre plugs. Where would we be without tyre plugs
7. Puncture repair kit. Sometimes you gotta go old school
8. Spare new brake pads
9. Wee bottle of chain lube (or salad dressing…?)
10. Spare tubeless tyre valve x2
11. Chain magic links (plus another one just for my bike taped to brake hose)
12. Tyre boots. Just add duct tape and an inner tube to save ride
13. Tyre levers x3. Mostly for pushing caliper piston back in
14. Spare jockey wheel
15. “Broken in” brake pads wrapped in tape
16. Random bolts, cleats and spacers in a bag
17. Spare gear cables x2
18. Leatherman. For fixing everything you shouldn’t fix with a leatherman
19. Spare mech hanger
20. Multi tool. crank bros 19
21. Laplander 19cm trail saw
22. Hat for under the lid
23. Nice sunglasses. I like sitting in cafes drinking coffee
24. Free clear sunglasses. I like not getting mud in my eyes
25. USB cable for charging stuff in the van, and
26. MP3 player for tunes in the van, if only there was a playlist somewhere…
27. Spare phone for emergency calls (normal phone in pocket)
28. Buff
29. c.r.e.a.m.
30. All the licences
31. Knee pads (wee ones)
32. Proper wee camera
33. Limited edition Sapaudia Brewing 500ml water bottle
34. Maps, compass, whistle and map case
35. Light dry bag for sandwiches, no more single use plastic (idea stolen from Bike Verbier,  sandwich eaten previously)
36. Random snacks
37. Riding gloves and wrist brace
38. Sunscreen
39. First aid kit
40. Bivvy bag
41. Survival blanket
42. Synthetic insulated jacket
43. Spare riding gloves
44. Shell waterproof mitts
45. Waterproof shorts
46. Waterproof jacket

Not pictured because they weren’t in the bag. Mini headtorch, mini rear & front light, tracking beacon or radio. I guess there’ll be a facemask in there for the next wee whiles too.

Yo Mary Poppins, what you got.

Raconte-moi une histoire…

Don’t overthink the above. I really struggle to remember what I put in my bag at the start of each spring, personal or professional riding. In the past I’d cheat and look at bike guide’s online articles (like this one, cheers Julia) but I finally realised a lot of stress could be avoided by just writing a list at the end of guiding season when I emptied and cleaned the bag. So that’s what I did. Then…

Then we got told to stay at home for 2 months and not ride our bikes. (Two months off. See, can’t help it.)

They say write about what you know, currently I know about listening to music, being bored and plotting for future bike trips. I got bored and tried to write a post using only song titles and band names. It’s served the triple purpose of being a handy note of what I need in the bag, distracted me from more useful projects and created a bit of poor quality content to keep google’s algorithms happy. What more can you expect right now?

These are mostly ting tings from my ipod, but google and desperation was needed to get this thing finally finished (and even then there were some tracks I could’t bring myself to use and just truncated something better), so apologies for the Peter Frampton. And Stroke 9. Sorry about that.

Stuck in time, indefinitely inside. Brand new bike. Unridden and going nowhere. Sad face.

Tracklist: The Streets, Has it come to this? The Chemical Brothers, Where do I begin. Iggy Pop, I’m bored. Drever McCusker Woomble, Stuck in time. Travis, Indefinitely. Moby, Inside. The White Stripes, I just don’t know what to do with myself. Massive Attack, Safe from harm. McAlmont and Butler, Yes. The Charlatans, Only (teethin’). Sleeper, What do I do now. The Temptations, Get ready. Arcade Fire, Ready to start. John Cale, Bicycle. Ash, Season. Spiritualized, All of my thoughts. Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Turn into. Julian Cope, Try try try. Blur, (song) 2. Ella Fitzgerald, Remember. Oasis, Whatever. Glasvegas, Go square go (not exactly right, but I get a couple of fudges allowed for quality tunes). Mazzy Star, Into (dust). NOFX, The bag. Stroke 9, little black backpack (sorry, google found this, it’s horrendous). Beth Orton, Best bit. Glasvegas, You. Can, Halleluwah. The Magic Numbers, Try. Green day, Basket case. Roni Size, Brown paper bag. Hinds, Riding solo. Faith no more, Easy. Beth Orton, Whenever. Peter Frampton, It all comes down to you (least bad version of a bad track, sorry). Leonard Cohen, I can’t forget. Beth Orton, Safety. Miles Davis, Stuff. The Cardigans, After all. The the, I saw the light. Mogwai, Superheros of BMX. Nirvana, Nevermind. 2pac, California Love. First Aid Kit, Emmylou. Bombay Bicycle Club, What if. The Lovely Eggs, I want to fall off my bike today. Roddy Woomble, I know where I went wrong. DJ Shadow, This time. New Order, Krafty. Belle and Sebastian, Like (dylan in the movies). The Cranberries, Empty. Idlewild, Everything. The Cardigans, After all. The Who, My generation. Green day, Last ride in. Teenage Fanclub, The fall. Radiohead, All I need. James, Laid. Dinosaur Jr, Out there. Green day, Good riddance. Toto, Africa. The Mouldy Peaches, Jorge Regula. Garbage, Milk (Massive Attack remix with Tricky ‘cos Tricky got cut from the original text). Alvvays, Archie marry me. Bright Eyes, At the bottom of everything. This is the kit, Moonshine freeze. The Smiths, This charming man. The Cranberries, Wanted. Cowboy Junkies, Lay it down. Nirvana, On a plain. The Chemical Brothers, Surface (to air). The Verve, This time. REM, Finest Worksong (from the Document album). Manic Street Preachers, Everything (must go). Weezer, Photograph. Anna Meredith, Taken. Cowboy Junkies, Now I know. Radiohead, All I need. Lily Allan, 22 (well, the first ‘2’ anyways). Ride, Vapour Trail. The Flaming Lips, All we have is now. Primal Scream, Loaded. The Lightning Seeds, Ready or not. Lily Allan 22 (makes sense now). The Chemical Brothers, Leave home. Public Service Broadcasting, Go. Mungo’s Hi-Fi, Bike Rider. Radiohead, A Reminder. Blur, This is a low. Mogwai, Travel is dangerous. Joy Division, Transmission. Guns n’ Roses, It’s so easy. Jimi Hendrix, Remember. Isobel Campbell & Mark Lanegan, It’s hard to kill a bad thing. The Proclaimers, I’m gonna be (500 miles). Supergrass, Going out. Sash!, Encore une fois. Radiohead, Just. Fatboy slim, Right here right now, Malcolm Middleton, Stay close sit tight. Emiliana Torrini, Today has been ok. James, Tomorrow. Portishead, We carry on. The Beatles, We can work it out. Teenage Fanclub, The world’ll be OK. (and some bonus tracks)

And if you’re really that desperate to listen to someone else’s taste in music, it’s all on a playlist here.